October 2005

Doesn’t Halloween feel just a little redundant amid our current reality? One longs for the time when ghouls, goblins and demons were something to be feared. After all, which of the following would you rather find in your living room?

Herman Monster


Abu Al Masri

Like horror movies, Halloween serves to trick us into believing there’s actually something scarier in this world than Jihadis. But unfortunately, the real ghouls are in our midst all year ‘round–and garlic and crucifixes don’t work (I’ve tried).

Vampire author Anne Rice may be the first to realize the obsolescence of horror tales amid the current backdrop. Evidently, she’s so much more disturbed by reality than by the living dead that she did the only sensible thing and turned to Jesus, now writing “only for the Lord.” It’s certainly not good for a horror writer’s ego when her monsters are being outdone by reality on a daily basis.

Below are FBI hate crimes statistics for last year, proving that the more people Muslims kill, the less popular Jews become.

Anti-Jewish and anti-Islamic hate crimes in 2004:

Anti-Jewish Incidents: 954
Victims: 1,076

Anti-Islamic Incedents: 156
Victims: 201

(Thanks to Robert Spencer’s www.JihadWatch.com and David Horowitz’s www.FrontPageMag.com. The entire report can be read here.)

There are five times more anti-Jew hate crimes than anti-Muslim. Translation: Muslims= politically correct minority. Jews=still politically incorrect minority.

On that note, what is all this nonsense about Muslims being the new black man in America? Why, then, would so many black men be converting to Islam? What–they didn’t feel black enough? I know: they must want in on the Muslim-run African slave trade.

But back to the numbers: Anyone who has read descriptions of the country’s “intolerance” and “abuse” against Arab-Americans can guess that the anti-Islamic hate crimes include some incidents in which a Muslim might have discerned a dirty look or wrinkled nose from a passing stranger. The anti-Islamic hate crime numbers may even involve cases in which a Muslim hurt himself while attacking a Jew.

Naturally, the elevated status of Muslims in the world has annoyed some white supremacists, who feel upstaged amid Islamic terror. That’s why about two dozen members of the National Socialist Movement felt compelled to march in a black neighborhood in Toledo this month. One almost feels sorry for the neo-Nazis that their thunder has been stolen, but whose fault is it that Hitler didn’t copyright his intellectual property as the exclusive domain of white supremacists? Now the bewildered Nazis are left engaging in nostalgic exercises, trying to assert themselves and wondering how those third-worlders hijacked their movement.

It makes one long for the good old days, when the Mufti of Jerusalem and Adolf Hitler were able to work so nicely together toward their common dream.

The neo-Nazis aren’t giving up without a fight, though. Seeing that Islamic-supremacist violence leads to all kinds of opportunities in the entertainment field for Muslim singers, artists, comedians and actors, the neo-Nazis have thrust their own version of the Olsen Twins onto the market. The adorable, blonde 13-year-old twin-sister pop duo Lamb and Lynx Gaede, who form the group “Prussian Blue,” sing a tribute to Hitler’s deputy Fuhrer Rudolf Hess, praising him as a “man of peace who wouldn’t give up.”

As you might imagine, such goings-on can make a black supremacist cranky, and at least one got his two cents in at the “Black Media Forum on the Image of Black Americans in Mainstream Media,” where a Dr. Kamau Kambon from North Carolina State University said, “We have to exterminate white people off the face of the planet to solve this problem…. So we just have to just set up our own system and…not be diverted from coming up with a solution to the problem and the problem on the planet is white people.”

Lewis “Scooter” Libby has been indicted for perjury and obstruction of justice in the Valerie Plame case. He has resigned as Dick Cheney’s chief of staff, but is in talks with NBC to host a new “Apprentice.”

Harriet Miers has withdrawn her nomination to the Supreme Court. No word yet on whether she’s Jewish after all (despite looking like Madeleine Albright’s thinner twin).

A teenage suspect in the murder of famed California defense attorney Daniel Horowitz’s wife has been arrested. Horowitz hasn’t said yet whether he plans to take the man’s case.