September 2006

Most everyone by now has heard that last week Pope Benedict XVI quoted the Byzantine Emperor Manuel Paleologos II as saying, “Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.”

The interesting twist is that this man was married to the daughter of a Serbian prince. Their son Constantine, who went by his mother’s Serbian last name — Dragas, died fighting the Muslim Ottoman Turks in the first Siege of Constantinople in 1453.

Indeed, the Serbs have historically been on the front lines in halting the advance of barbarism into Europe — first against the Ottomans, then against the Third Reich (the Serbian nation lost proportionally more lives fighting the Nazis than any other), and then in the 1990s against the Muslim and Croatian heirs of the Nazis. But in our modernity and shallow historic understanding, we stopped them then — and have been paying for it ever since.

In March, BBC interviewed Bosnian Serbs 10 years after the Siege of Sarajevo. Among them was 52-year-old Slavko Jovicic, who lost a kidney and more than 40 kilograms “during four years of torture and mistreatment at wartime prison camps run by Bosnian Muslims” — just one of the many crimes against Serbs that the UN’s Hague tribunal has no interest in prosecuting, as its main occupation is prosecuting Serbs.

At a bar in Pale, Bosnia-Herzegovina, a man named Miki explained, “‘We were defenders, not aggressors. But the other side managed to convince everyone it was the victim.’” He lamented that his people are excluded from a united Europe.

Nearby, a man sipping a beer added, “‘Europe should not fear the Serbs. We will always be your buffer against Islam.’”

Reuters Headline: “Democrats urge ABC to withdraw 9/11 movie”
(Rather than abort…for a change)

The word “phobia” means an irrational fear. And there is no irrational fear of Islam. In fact, there has never been a more rational fear in the history of mankind. So the next time Americans are accused of being Islamophobes (it happens about every six seconds, so be ready), we can respond that the Islamophobe is a mythical creature.

There have been some reports lately about 9/11 conspiracy theories gaining ground, including in academia. The theories are propounded by folks who don’t believe that planes are what brought down the World Trade Center. Academics such as Kevin Barrett at the University of Wisconsin and Steven Jones at Brigham Young University believe that the Twin Towers were “almost certainly brought down by controlled demolitions” and “the government not only permitted 9/11 to occur but may even have orchestrated these events to facilitate its political agenda.”

Members of the 9/11 conspiracy community “trade their ideas on the Internet and in self-published papers and in books,” the AP reported recently. “About 500 of them attended a recent conference in Chicago. The movement claims to be drawing fresh energy and credibility from a recently formed group called Scholars for 9/11 Truth.”

But there’s one thing that the lefties have been harping on since 9/11, which wouldn’t make sense if the Bush administration knew of the attacks/demolitions in advance. That would be the additional seven minutes that George W. Bush spent in the children’s classroom after being informed that the country was under attack. If a plan had been in place, he would have hopped to and set it in motion rather than been a “deer in headlights” taking the extra time to collect himself.

Further, if 9/11 was planned in order for our government to “facilitate its political agenda,” it’s hard to understand what that agenda might be — considering that the same government that’s fighting terrorism across the globe is bowing to one Islamic demand after another, building mosques, and answering to Islam as its higher authority in all matters that the organized Muslim community deems fit to insert itself. It’s hard to discern a design here.

My husband and I met one of these 9/11 conspiracy theorists earlier this year at a Las Vegas buffet. She had the long stringy hair and long skirt and sandals that indicate someone is from Berkeley. She was strolling around the dining room floor holding her baby while the other two children colonized half the room, wallowing in the cracker crumbs they had strewn about the floor. The children’s clothes were dirty and had holes in them. The girl turned out to be a boy, but he had long hair and wore a skirt over his pants.

We caught the attention of the 30-something mom holding the youngest of the three, an infant, when we smiled at her as she walked by. A few seconds later, she plunked herself down on the floor at the side of our table, Indian style, and started a long conversation about everything. Midway through, she flopped out a breast to feed the baby.

In addition to learning that the Bush administration was behind the 9/11 attacks, we found out that she and her boy husband were in town for the porn convention. They had already made some home movies and were looking to start a career in the adult film industry. The husband (or, at least, father of the two white children) couldn’t offer an opinion on the 9/11 conspiracy because he believed we were living in a matrix to begin with, and that the physical world was just an illusion.

As we were leaving (they remained), the hostess and manager thanked us for speaking to the “homeless people” who had been at the buffet all afternoon. I said, “Oh they’re not homeless–they’re from Berkeley!” The two ethnic service industry ladies didn’t understand what I was saying even after I explained that they were hippies, not homeless, and just told us “that was a nice thing” we did.

Incidentally, it was the same types, from the same area, who bought into Charles Manson’s worldview.

Does anyone else notice how the more that Muslims kill us, the more intent we are on pronouncing and spelling their words more accurately? For example, early on KaBUL became KAbul (we learned from TV reporters to stress the first syllable instead of the second); soon after, al-Qaeda became al-Qaida. Most recently, Hezbollah became Hizballah, Hizbullah, or even Hizb’allah. European presses, meanwhile, are already using the terrorist pronunciation of Kosovo: KosOva (stress on the second syllable). Osama and Usama have always fluctuated, as have Muslim and Moslem. But now they want us to pronounce “Islam” with the stress on the second syllable. And more and more, Koran is Qu’ran.

This is the reverse of how it’s supposed to go. For example, in WWII, before we nuked Japan, it was Hiroshima (accent on the second i). After we nuked, out of guilt, it became HirOshima (accent on the o). But we haven’t nuked the Islamists yet, so why are we pronouncing their stuff correctly? At this rate, they’ll nuke us and we’ll be the ones reciting the Qu’ran in Arabic.

So I suggest going with the cowboy pronunciation of their Nazi language. Instead of the Qu’ran or KAbul or IslAM, let’s talk about the Crayon, Cable and I-slam (since that’s what they do).

A new British film titled “The Queen,” recently screened at the Venice Film Festival, suggests that Queen Elizabeth was unable to comprehend British public grief at Princess Diana’s death in 1997. Indeed, the Royal Family appeared more noticeably crushed and devastated by the death of the Queen Mother in 2002 at the age of 101. But Diana? Ech, she lived long enough!

Among the gems in last month’s much talked about Carter interview in Der Spiegel magazine was this:

“I don’t think that Israel has any legal or moral justification for their massive bombing of the entire nation of Lebanon.” Carter also said that there should be an exchange of prisoners — equating kidnapped Israeli soldiers with Palestinians who have shot Jewish parents in front of their children then crushed the children’s skulls against rocks. He further suggested an early ceasefire, saying that Hezbollah said it would comply and that he “hopes” Israel will comply — oblivious to the historical pattern that a Middle Eastern “ceasefire” has only ever meant that Israel ceases fire. But then, this is a man who recommends ignoring history:

SPIEGEL: Should there be an international peacekeeping force along the Lebanese-Israeli border?

Carter: Yes.

SPIEGEL: And can you imagine German soldiers taking part?

Carter: Yes, I can imagine Germans taking part.

SPIEGEL: … even with their history?

Carter: Yes. That would be certainly satisfactory to me personally, and I think most people believe that enough time has passed so that historical facts can be ignored.

So there you have it: the ever-present pattern of those who study history being those who are most eager to repeat it, as the following Carter quote from the interview demonstrates: “You can be certain in advance if you don’t negotiate, that your problem is going to continue and maybe even get worse.” Here he ignores the fact that negotiations throughout the 90s proved fruitless and got thousands of Palestinians and Israelis killed. Spiegel followed up:

“But negotiations failed to prevent the burning of Beirut and bombardment of Haifa.” To which Carter replied only, “I’m distressed.”

Then Carter — who once even blamed Israeli West Bank settlements for Saddam Hussein’s invasion of Kuwait — started in with the oft parroted criticism that the Bush administration hasn’t been an active enough mediator in the Palestinian-Israeli conflict, that it had “disengaged,” as is the favored term. Disengagement, of course, is code for not enabling terror against Israelis. Engagement was the peace process, which brought that region to Intifadah II.

“So WHAT!” scream the enlightened classes. “It’s always better to be engaged. Even if you’re screwing the whole thing up, the important thing is you’re involved. (Kind of like voting!) Another thousand dead? Well, it’s the thought that counts. The Clinton White House was the best friend Israel ever had. OK, so maybe it was in a Dr. Kevorkian sort of way, but still…”

Spiegel then moved on to Fidel Castro, observing, “Cuban exiles are partying already in the streets of Miami. You are probably not in the mood to join them.”

Carter: No, that’s true. Just because someone is ill, I don’t think there should be a celebration of potential death.

Really? That must mean celebrations are called for only after someone dies, since celebrating is what Carter’s Palestinians were doing on September 11, 2001 — as were other Muslims in whose employ this former American president is while he pens monthly anti-Israel editorials for major publications.

So now here’s the twist. The frustrated, talentless poet Jimmy Carter has had a lifelong lust for folk singer Bob Dylan, whose lyrical musings always appealed to the hippie dippie leftist crowd. In fact, when Carter was a member of the Georgia state legislature, he and the other Democrats would sit around reading and discussing poetry and Bob Dylan songs. Having recently read two Carter books — one flatteringly written by his 1976 campaign speech writer Patrick Anderson (Electing Jimmy Carter) and the other an unflattering portrayal titled The Real Jimmy Carter — I know of Carter’s repeated efforts to get Dylan to perform or at least show up at Carter events and campaign stops and major political bashes. Every time, Dylan was either too busy or traveling, or made sure that he was. Diss!

Some interviewer should ask Carter whether he’s aware that Bob Dylan is a Jew. Even worse, he’s a Jew who doesn’t hate Israel. In fact, he’s the Jew who wrote the song “Neighborhood Bully” in 1983:

Well, the neighborhood bully, he’s just one man,
His enemies say he’s on their land.
They got him outnumbered about a million to one,
He got no place to escape to, no place to run.
He’s the neighborhood bully.

The neighborhood bully just lives to survive,
He’s criticized and condemned for being alive.
He’s not supposed to fight back, he’s supposed to have thick skin,
He’s supposed to lay down and die when his door is kicked in.
He’s the neighborhood bully.

The neighborhood bully been driven out of every land,
He’s wandered the earth an exiled man.
Seen his family scattered, his people hounded and torn,
He’s always on trial for just being born.
He’s the neighborhood bully.

Well, he knocked out a lynch mob, he was criticized,
Old women condemned him, said he should apologize.
Then he destroyed a bomb factory, nobody was glad.
The bombs were meant for him.
He was supposed to feel bad.
He’s the neighborhood bully.

Well, the chances are against it and the odds are slim
That he’ll live by the rules that the world makes for him,
‘Cause there’s a noose at his neck and a gun at his back
And a license to kill him is given out to every maniac.
He’s the neighborhood bully.

He got no allies to really speak of.
What he gets he must pay for, he don’t get it out of love.
He buys obsolete weapons and he won’t be denied
But no one sends flesh and blood to fight by his side.
He’s the neighborhood bully.

Well, he’s surrounded by pacifists who all want peace,
They pray for it nightly that the bloodshed must cease.
Now, they wouldn’t hurt a fly.
To hurt one they would weep.
They lay and they wait for this bully to fall asleep.
He’s the neighborhood bully.

Now his holiest books have been trampled upon,
No contract he signed was worth what it was written on.
He took the crumbs of the world and he turned it into wealth,
Took sickness and disease and he turned it into health.
He’s the neighborhood bully.

What’s anybody indebted to him for?
Nothin’, they say.
He just likes to cause war.
Pride and prejudice and superstition indeed,
They wait for this bully like a dog waits to feed.
He’s the neighborhood bully.

“Dylan was never genuinely political,” writes Ronald Radosh. “His left-wing friends in the Minnesota folk crowd tried to interest him in the events of the day…But still Dylan, as [biographer Howard] Sounes writes, ‘remained steadfastly, frustratingly apolitical.’ He refused to write pro-Castro songs…When many lent their names and their talents to anti-Vietnam advertisements and rallies, Dylan was not among them.”

I’d bet money that his Number One Fan Jimmy Carter makes Dylan’s stomach turn.

A Malaysian astronaut will make Malaysia’s favorite hot drink, teh tarik (pulled tea), in space in order to bring Malaysian customs to a worldwide audience. However, anyone with a passport bearing an Israeli stamp will not be allowed.

“Teh tarik is one of the symbols of Malaysia,” said astronaut Faiz Khaleed. “I think this is a good idea also to bring something from our country so the world can learn something about our country.”

Of course, Malaysian customs and ideas have been spreading since Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad retired and told the world that the Jews rule it. Meanwhile, Iranian-American Anousheh Ansari will be the first female space tourist later this month when she boards the Russian Soyuz TMA-9 flight to the International Space Station. However, neither she nor the Malaysians will be the first Muslims in outer space. That distinction belongs to Saudi Arabia’s prince Sultan bin Salman, who went into space in 1985 on board the space shuttle Discovery.

Now if we could just send the rest of these folks into space and send the progressives to battle the global warming on Mars, we could have an easier time of it here. But the world will sooner send all the Jews from the non-nation Israel to the non-planet Pluto.

Ansari is a telecom entrepreneur who is paying more than $20 million to help perform scientific experiments on the Space Station, and her family made a multimillion-dollar contribution to fund a suborbital competition for privately-developed, reusable spacecraft, according to the scientific online mag EE Times.

Say, I thought Jews had all the money. Speaking of which, why is it that every time we put a Jew on a shuttle, it explodes? (e.g. Challenger, Columbia). It’s not fair. If we stay on the land, we explode. And if we try to escape — to outer space — we still explode.

Anyway, Ansari may be an electrical engineer, but she’s still a bimbo. She told a press conference in Moscow, “One good thing is, maybe, I will generate some positive media about the Middle East with everything going on.”

Actually, the positive media is about what America lets people do, whereas Iran hangs women for fending off rapists.

Brad Pitt has announced that he won’t marry Angelina Jolie until everyone in the country who wants to get married is legally able to do so.

Well, that’s one way to get out of it. (Sounds like someone’s got cold feet!)But surely there’s a more direct way to break it to her?

I mean, I’ve heard some crazy excuses, but nothing so elaborate as: “I’ll marry when I can marry my sister…or my mother…or my sister, my mother, my brother and a bunch of others at the same time.”

Really, Brad — what a diss!

(But hey — since he’s trying to put this thing off as long as possible, does that mean he’ll be voting Republican from now on?)

It was announced last month that Alton Towers theme park in Central England called off what would have been its first “National Muslim Fun Day,” scheduled for September 17th. Let’s first examine the oxymoronic nature of the title. Namely, Islam isn’t fun. In fact, fun goes against Sharia law. To wit, “music, gambling and alcohol were to be banned for the day and theme park rides such as ‘Ripsaw,’ ‘Corkscrew’ and ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’ [woudl be] all segregated by sex,” Reuters reported. Also, there would be prayer areas stationed throughout, and a strict dress code enforced.

But even this threatened to be too much fun, and so there was a lack of interest in the event.

The park issued this requisite dhimmi statement of regret over the cancellation: “Alton Towers is disappointed that the planned Family Fun Day Sunday 17th September has had to be canceled.”

But perhaps the funniest part was that a normal British couple who had scheduled their wedding for the same day were told by event organizers that the bride and her female wedding guests would have to cover themselves if they wanted to go ahead with the wedding.

Meanwhile, Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey has been having much more success with its “Great Muslim Adventure Day.” Originally open only to Muslims and their friends (Muslims-in-training), the day had to be opened up to other people after the public objected to such an exclusionary event. While the park allows events like a Passover theme, when the park is filled mostly with Orthodox Jews, organizers don’t claim exclusivity of the park and outsiders are allowed. Which pretty much sums up the Arab-Israeli conflict right there.

But all this “Muslim-only” stuff gives me an idea. Could we, like, try this with airlines? It’ll solve all that awkward racial profiling stuff — and will get the “moderate” Muslims to finally speak up. Can you imagine — Muslim-only flights: the skies will be safe again. Because every Middle Easterner in the security check line will be like “Yo, check the dude behind me; he looks like Osama’s twin brother. You already checked him? Check him again! Strip-search his ass!”

Really, Muslims shouldn’t mind Muslim-only flights; airplanes with nothing but Muslims on them should make them feel right at home.

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