From USA Today, about the new bin Laden tape:

Bin Laden said there were two solutions to stopping the Iraq war. “One is from our side, and it is to escalate the fighting and killing against you…The second solution is from your side. … I invite you to embrace Islam,” he said.

Essentially: Join us or we’ll kill you.

Let’s think about this for a moment. Let’s say Bush announces tomorrow that we’re all converting to Islam. What if we become the wrong kind of Muslims? No matter what sort we convert to, it won’t be the right kind, and one type of Muslim or another will need to kill us. ( “You’re not praying right…your ass is supposed to angle this way, not that way…”) Basically, there’s nothing you can do to avoid getting killed by Muslims.

Then again, converting to Islam comes with a free license to kill a whole lot more Muslims than we’re killing now, since Muslims kill more Muslims than anyone else.

In the tape, bin Laden also went into a tirade against capitalism, expressed concern over global warming, criticized JFK for not stopping the Vietnam War, praised Noam Chomsky (a Jew), and said that the war against the U.S. is about our foreign policy — the last two items indicating that the leading face of jihad doesn’t quite get what jihad is all about, or that it’s not within his power to stop it even if he wanted to.

While analysts disagreed on whether there were any overt threats contained in the message, the tape confirms what some of us have long suspected: bin Laden is a Democrat.