Proving that the Obama administration is lily white. Because everyone knows that black people don’t prefer Coke or Pepsi, but Sprite or 7-Up. As I wrote in my article “Hate-Loving Whitey“:

Most white people drink Coke or Pepsi — the dark sodas, in other words. But black people consistently prefer Sprite. That is, the clear or “white” soda. ‘Sprite’ even rhymes with ‘white’.

Moving on to ice cream. I, a white person, swear by chocolate. But working at Darrell’s Almost Famous Ice Creamery in Baltimore in the 1980s — and later at Ben & Jerry’s in New York — I couldn’t convince a single black customer to try the ecstasy-inducing Chocolate Fudge Brownie. No, they had to have their vanilla-based Butter Pecan. And if we were out of that (Ben & Jerry’s didn’t even carry it), invariably they would ask for just plain Vanilla.

Meanwhile, what do you think the preferred bread among African-Americans is? Hmm, I WONDER. Ever see a brother eating pumpernickel?

And limousines. You know how white people usually opt for black or gray limousines? Well, black and Hispanic people always seem to go for the white ones.

Then there are the dogs. I caught sight of a magazine at my mother-in-law’s house, titled “Opera Weekly”. On the cover was a black diva of the opera snuggling her foofy-doofy white dog. Which reminded me of the one black family that lived in my Upper East Side building. What color do you think their white poodle was? And take my parents’ realtor, Terri. She and her fiance are both black, but when I met their dog, it was the first time in my life that I ever saw an all-white Akita. Named Snowy. I was genuinely shocked to see that Oprah Winfrey’s recently deceased cocker spaniel was black, which led me to wonder how black Oprah is really.

This is all without even mentioning the black taste for white suits and white shoes, in contrast to the white taste for black clothes and black shoes. So actually, all the muttering about the White House now being the “Black House” or that the Obamas are going to paint the White House black doesn’t make any sense. If anything, they’ll paint it whiter.

Unless, of course, they’re only as black as the rest of their Coke-drinking administration.