I only recently stumbled upon this item from last year. Apparently, Goldie Hawn and her daughter Kate Hudson are able to see dead people. This means that more and more people are talking about such phenomena, which will help the subject become even more mainstream and acceptable to discuss.

My own experiences with this are quite limited. All I can claim is to have had some out-of-body experiences–but I assumed my soul was just disgusted with the weight I’ve gained recently, and was out trying to find something thinner. Secondly, I found out from people who have gone to heaven and then visited here to report back — which can happen, depending on how much your dead relatives like you — that everyone is up there: Christians, Jews, Buddhists — even a few Muslims. Because it doesn’t matter which god you believed in — whether it was Jesus or his father, for example. (Though personally, I’ve always had a thing for older men.)

Even atheists go to heaven, it turns out. They just feel really stupid when they get there. Of course, the more arrogant ones aren’t convinced even in heaven. God tries to tell them, “The answer is yes, I do exist. You’re in heaven, and I exist,” — and they start arguing with him, saying, “You know what, God — we’re just going to have to disagree on this one, OK? I’m just tripping, man. It’s the drugs; I’ve been here before.”

But what do you expect from people who think we came from monkeys? (Of course, you and I know that only they came from monkeys.)

Fortunatly, science moves closer every day to proving the existence of God. One scientist is using a statistical method to detect design in biological systems. So soon God will just be able to tell the atheists, “Yes, I do exist. But don’t worry — there’s a scientific explanation.”

It also appears that you can continue practicing your religion up there. Devout Christians still practice their faith in heaven, and observant Jews can continue studying the Talmud. The only people who have some trouble practicing their faith up there are Muslims. Because the Koran tells them they have to kill the infidels, but everyone up there is already dead, so there’s no one left to kill; they can’t even blow themselves up just for the hell of it.

Reincarnation does happen, apparently, but according to medium George Anderson, the spirits don’t much like talking about that because we’re supposed to live as if there’s only one life. Still, just when you thought there was no such thing as a Born-Again Jew…