I wasn’t going to post anything this March 24th, as it all goes into a black hole anyway, but then that Impact Award was announced for our next First Female President. And so I’ve drafted the following for the “Hillarisms” facebook page, where it will appear in a few hours and where I’m lately more active than on this site.

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News that Chelsea Clinton is to receive an Impact Award from Variety and the Lifetime network for her work fighting childhood obesity is being met with wide scoffing. After all, we already have a cure for childhood obesity. It’s called puberty.

One can, however, understand this issue — which Chelsea pursued through an affiliate of The Clinton Foundation — being dear to a Clinton heart. After all, childhood obesity is the very scourge over which her father bonded with a 21-year-old intern as they lamented their difficult and insecure childhoods to each other, according to the 1998 Lewinsky exposés in NY Post and NY Times.

In contrast, as a young boy of 12, Novak Djokovic successfully fought off obesity by training in tennis while dodging the impact of our NATO bombs that were dropping to hand over Christian land to Albanian-Muslim terrorists backed simultaneously by Turkey and Saudi Arabia. It was today, March 24th, in 1999 that Chelsea’s dad announced this workout for Novak and other Yugoslavian children who also never got the chance to get fat, as their lifetimes were impacted into oblivion while they slept. For variety, in the case of three-year-old Milica Rakic, she was on the potty when her lifetime was cut short.

Indeed, the Impact Award — set for an April 21st Power of Women luncheon — was announced as we enter the 18th anniversary of the 78 days that the impact of the Clintern relationship was felt most acutely by Yugoslavia — the designated decoy — which itself started getting skinnier and skinnier until it disappeared in 2003. (Thanks in large part to the Power of the Woman giving the man the order to give the order to impact.) Since then, we have fattened NATO with spoils such as Croatia, Melania’s Slovenia, and — currently being fought over in Congress—Montenegro…with Kosovo and maybe even emaciated Serbia to join eventually. All to encircle Russia and cut her down to size (ultimately even physically), as is the goal of the repurposed NATO alliance.

Instead, however, we’ll all feel the squeeze when Russia bites back, and in the end Chelsea’s Alliance for a Healthier Tomorrow will have been intimately connected with a Dalliance for an Unhealthier Day After Tomorrow.