A Malaysian astronaut will make Malaysia’s favorite hot drink, teh tarik (pulled tea), in space in order to bring Malaysian customs to a worldwide audience. However, anyone with a passport bearing an Israeli stamp will not be allowed.

“Teh tarik is one of the symbols of Malaysia,” said astronaut Faiz Khaleed. “I think this is a good idea also to bring something from our country so the world can learn something about our country.”

Of course, Malaysian customs and ideas have been spreading since Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad retired and told the world that the Jews rule it. Meanwhile, Iranian-American Anousheh Ansari will be the first female space tourist later this month when she boards the Russian Soyuz TMA-9 flight to the International Space Station. However, neither she nor the Malaysians will be the first Muslims in outer space. That distinction belongs to Saudi Arabia’s prince Sultan bin Salman, who went into space in 1985 on board the space shuttle Discovery.

Now if we could just send the rest of these folks into space and send the progressives to battle the global warming on Mars, we could have an easier time of it here. But the world will sooner send all the Jews from the non-nation Israel to the non-planet Pluto.

Ansari is a telecom entrepreneur who is paying more than $20 million to help perform scientific experiments on the Space Station, and her family made a multimillion-dollar contribution to fund a suborbital competition for privately-developed, reusable spacecraft, according to the scientific online mag EE Times.

Say, I thought Jews had all the money. Speaking of which, why is it that every time we put a Jew on a shuttle, it explodes? (e.g. Challenger, Columbia). It’s not fair. If we stay on the land, we explode. And if we try to escape — to outer space — we still explode.

Anyway, Ansari may be an electrical engineer, but she’s still a bimbo. She told a press conference in Moscow, “One good thing is, maybe, I will generate some positive media about the Middle East with everything going on.”

Actually, the positive media is about what America lets people do, whereas Iran hangs women for fending off rapists.