If I were smarter, I’d be a Democrat. It would save me so much thinking. My biggest worries would be warm weather and George Bush’s Christianity. Boy am I a sucker.

I now understand why when a liberal crosses over to the Right, it’s called “waking up,” while when a Republican crosses over to the Left, it’s more like going to sleep. And really, he needs a nap — because he’s freakin’ tired of reality. It’s a case of “If you can’t beat ‘em, join em.” A Repub switching to Dem, on the other hand, isn’t waking up; he’s giving up.