Warning: some bad words included in quotes.

My attention was recently called to a smear campaign against radio talk show host and co-author of American Mourning Melanie Morgan. The interesting thing about the names that leftists have been calling Morgan, as well as the suggestions for the fate she should suffer for knocking Cindy Sheehan down a few notches off her absolute-moral-authority pedestal, is their sexual nature. She’s being called a “whore,” and other comments about her and co-author Catherine Moy include:

“Hmm…seems to me that they haven’t gotten “any” and that is why they’ve lashed out at Cindy the way they have”; and:

“Perhaps a ‘visitation’ day at an all-male prison would be just okay for these imbecils??”

That second one is suggesting a gang rape by prison inmates, and it is part of a pattern among leftists when they “disagree” with someone.

Recall just a few weeks ago on “Law & Order SVU,” a character named Elizabeth Hassenback (in tribute to the one conservative on “The View” Elisabeth Hasselbeck) was raped and killed. Not tortured and killed, or just killed — but raped and killed. Contrary to claims of coincidence, the “TabloidBaby” blog’s SVU source said, “[producer] Neil Baer and all his writers are liberals. She’s a conservative. Why not have her raped and murdered? Real funny…He’s also a liberal medical doctor and I bet she’s against [embryonic] stem cell research.”

So lefties even think in sexual terms about Republicans whom they hate. What’s particularly interesting about the gang rape therapy for Melanie Morgan is that it’s uncannily similar to the kind of punishment exacted of enemy tribes in the far reaches of Pakistan and other places such as some African countries. It looks like we have yet another explanation for the Left’s affinity for the “noble savage” and Islamists. As well, they might think that if you’re shtupped long enough, you’ll turn into a liberal.

Indeed, it would appear that sex is the liberal solution for everything — even racism and poverty (to paraphrase Warren Beatty in the 1999 movie “Bulworth”: everyone should be f—ing everyone until we can’t tell who is what race and there are no more races).

My own experience with liberals telling me to have sex is so voluminous as to be intractable. But here are two emails I got when I wrote an article blaming the Clintons for yet another negligent dog death in their “family”:

Your funny. The Las Vegas Review-Journal loves to run stories about women (and some men) obsessed with Bill Clinton’s penis. Get a dildo girl, he is never going to fuck you. If your partner can’t do it for you, get a dildo, quit obsessing.
David Oliver
Las Vegas Nevada

Then from a “Mark in Vegas”:

the only other time i read such garbage was from barbara olsen …and that bitch died as she lived.. in a hateful way…it shows live is pretty fair….it must kill you that there are people out here like me who think that the Clinton’s are great people..and he was a great president too…you must have a very sad live..go out get laid…maybe a good fuck would do you good…..or just go away in a big pang like barbara olsen did…we dot need such evil people like you in our country

As I say in my stage act, the guiding motto of a liberal is: “Give me liberty, or give me tyranny. Just so long as I can still have sex.”

In fact, you could trace back almost any leftist policy position to a sexual position (as I outlined in my article “It’s the Sex, Stupid”). For example, why do you think they’re against hanging the Ten Commandments in classrooms? Because one of those commandment says “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife,” and liberals are like, “We think the kids should make their own decisions about that.” Why do you think they don’t want you to own a gun? Because they don’t want to get shot in case they sleep with your wife.

The whole reason they never took missile defense and Star Wars seriously is that liberals don’t need missile defense: they’re so busy having sex that they’re not going to notice a missile just landed on them. They won’t know anything is wrong until they get to heaven (yes, even liberals go to heaven) and God says, “Ok, you can stop having sex now. There’s no sex in heaven.” Now, this will give a liberal some pause: “Woah, no sex in heaven? That kinda sucks. Maybe there was something to this whole national defense thing…”

This mindset also explains why liberals scoff at the idea of abstinence education. As I wrote last month:

I think I figured out why liberals scoff at abstinence education. See, a liberal wants to know that people — especially people in miserable, poverty-stricken places like Africa — are having sex. It depresses a liberal to think that people aren’t having sex, or are having sex with only one person. A liberal assumes that Africans are like liberals, for whom food and sex are core values. And since there’s no food, sex is the only happiness that these poor people have.

Also relevant reading: “The Most Violent People”