Last month the AP reported that “thousands of people have been mistakenly linked to names on terror watch lists when they crossed the border, boarded commercial airliners or were stopped for traffic violations, a government report said Friday.”

People “are usually misidentified because they have the same name as someone in the database….Young children and well-known Americans like Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, D-Mass., were stopped at airports because their names were the same as those on the no-fly list.

“The list has contained the names of Bolivia’s President Evo Morales and Nabih Berri, Lebanon’s parliamentary speaker, according to a report by CBS’ ‘60 Minutes.’”

Bolivia, Lebanon and Ted Kennedy: So where’s the malfunction? It seems the “faulty” computer knows which side of terror people are on better than the people themselves do.

As for the rest of the list, maybe people — especially if they live in Western countries — should stop being named after terrorists? Muslims need to stop naming their kids after martyrs and start naming them after Jewish doctors. Besides, say you’re living in America now (or Canada). So how about doing like other immigrant groups — who want to “be American” — do, and naming your kids Susan, Danielle, Sammy, Jennifer and so on? How many Italian-Americans still name their kids Rodolfo or Graziella? Russian-Americans, for example, name their kids Brandon and other names from “90210.” Why is that not good enough for Middle Easterners? They should try acting like real Americans, and watching the latest TV shows and naming their kids Haley, Tyler, Skyler and Dylan. What’s the problem? The name thing is just another telltale sign of who does or doesn’t want to integrate.

Anyway, for those who are offended by the computer glitches (if you want to call them that), take heart in this finding: “Terrorist screening missed 75% of time: Green card and visa applications not checked against terror watch list.”

A victory for civil rights warriors, and proof that there is balance in the universe!