Calls to shut down Camp Delta persist. Certainly we’ve all heard the gruesome stories: people having cocktails of urine, feces, blood and semen hurled at them, plus getting spat on in the face, bitten on the ear, ambushed and called names–all the while unable to do anything in response. And that’s just the U.S. soldiers stationed there.

From Insight Magazine:

Officers tell of daily attacks by al Qaeda inmates against U.S. military personnel, who are ordered not to respond.

Instead,

prison staff members are ordered to fill a range of dietary requests that seek to adapt to the religion and culture of the inmates. “If a guy’s salad isn’t right, I’ll make a phone call to try and get him the correct salad,” said the 28-year-old guard…

What’s more, at one party that the staff threw for the inmates, there was chocolate cake and ice cream. So we’re giving them stuff that doesn’t even exist in the Middle East! I couldn’t find decent chocolate cake even in Israel! A jihadi probably has never tasted chocolate cake (and who knows what passes for ice cream in those countries!). But back to what the staff get in return:

…The block guard recalled being attacked by a “cocktail” of feces, semen, blood and urine thrown by an inmate. He said guards are ordered to walk away.

“It’s humiliating,” the guard said. “A guy throws feces on you, and you’ve got to turn right back around and walk down a block that might have 40 people on it. They’re making their little comments, and you go home and you change and you come back to work.”

Humiliating is exactly right. No Muslim would put up with this kind of humiliation. And as any Muslim or media outlet will tell you, humiliation is grounds for bombing someone, which is what our military should be doing to the offending inmates.

Instead,

The officers have also been ordered to fulfill the religious, cultural and even entertainment needs of the inmates, including providing Arabic translations of Harry Potter.

Indeed, the three biggest bestsellers in the Middle East are: the Koran, Mein Kampf, and Harry Potter. Now you can understand why Muslims rioted across the globe when they thought their Korans were being flushed down the toilet. After all, they thought their holy book was being desecrated. Imagine if you flushed a German’s copy of Mein Kampf down the toilet!

Only the Harry Potter part doesn’t fit. And that’s because Muslims aren’t supposed to be reading Harry Potter. Does Islam allow Infidel-spun entertainment? I don’t think so! Why are they reading about some colonialist child engaging in blasphemous behavior? Our military should confiscate all the Harry Potter books, in accordance with the Sharia Law that it otherwise follows at Guantanamo.

Unless, of course, these “Islamists” are full of poopy (no pun intended).

I have a theory as to why they like Harry Potter so much. I think it makes them nostalgic for the stories of Aladdin and his flying carpet. I’m also nostalgic for Aladdin: What ever happened to the good old days, when all that the Arabs wanted to do was grant you three wishes?